Artist: Slop
Mountain College faculty Adriane Herman &
Brian Reeves
Cobwebs clogging
your workspace? Racked by doubt or despair
because your practice lacks clear direction
or meaning? Distracted by your desire for
coins, candy, SpongeBob's square pants,
or the latest Beanie Babies? Plagued by
guilt about indulging in formalist fantasies
while your tax dollars fund atrocities?
IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF
THESE QUESTIONS, you won't want to miss
this unique opportunity to stem the flow
of negatives to your creative shores. As
you may have heard, the odds are stacked
against your continual identification as
an active Artist. Whether you question your
will or capacity to persist as a productive
member of the Arts and Entertainment Industry,
or find yourself going through the motions
in the absence of rigorous critical feedback
or kind kudos, you are likely in need of
more nurturing support. Be the highest bidder
& enjoy a self-scheduled tele-session
of unwavering encouragement from persistent
solo & collaborative makers of Fine
Art products, Adriane Herman & Brian
Reeves. For as long as it takes to de-claw
doubts, rekindle flagging fires, or ameliorate
professional or avocational ennui, Slop-eratives
will employ their vast collective arsenal
of long-winded academic and lay experience,
responding in real-time to your spoken &
unspoken needs for up to three hours. They'll
relate proven strategies and extol media
likely to serve your ideas ranging from
nearly up-to-date technologies to long-forsaken
traditions. For a fraction of the retail
value, receive rigorous deconstructive &
speculative critique (should you desire
it) in one or more modes (choose from Pre-Modern,
Modern, and Post-Modern approaches).
These broadly exhibited Certified Masters
will relevantly recommend exemplary emissaries
of expression. They'll even overlook an
apparent lack of talent or originality --
whatever it takes to convince you to end
world hunger for your own brand of Art.
Bid today for this rare opportunity to capitalize
upon Slop Art’s proprietary techniques
for inspiring the uninspired, lessening
languor, prodding the pooped who have lost
(or misplaced) their spark or simply need
a deadline to get something done. Even if
you don't count yourself among any of these
unfortunates, inoculate against statistically
probable future despair by keeping a Slop
Brand Pep Talk in your hip pocket. Slop
Art will contact the winner to schedule
his or her customized consultation. Direct
any questions to: pep@slopart.com.
Additional fee for Un-American telephone
numbers.
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